


i be like [gets adopted by gerard way]

by ocdranboo



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Abusive Parents, Adopted by Gerard Way, Coming Out, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self Harm, Rehearsals, Self Insert, alcohol mentioned, father figure Gerard, this is just daydreaming on paper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21923611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocdranboo/pseuds/ocdranboo
Summary: in which my making tumblr posts leads to getting adopted by gerard way <3(this was going to be a funny tumblr post. then it was a crack idea. then I wrote out the idea and got attached, and thus, writing. hope u guys are ok after that concert *pretends I was there instead of just watching @dietshampoo’s youtube video* it was wild wasn’t it!) (welcome to 2013 wattpad)
Relationships: Gerard Way & Original Male Character, Original Self-Insert & Original Security Guard
Comments: 7
Kudos: 5





	i be like [gets adopted by gerard way]

**Author's Note:**

> “niko is just you” yes. “this would never happen in the real world” ok. “this is stupid” uno reverse. "this is bad." i know. I’m writing this for my own entertainment and nobody else’s. I just hope some1 else gets a kick out of this.

**dreaming of a getaway mile**

I hit post on this one Tumblr post about Bulletproof Heart less than three hours ago, and already it’s got 5,000 notes. Frankly, I’m shocked. It was just about how I’d preform the song were I given the chance.

_in my mind i have this very elabourate staging of bulletproof heart that i would do if i could. it includes:_

_> after the first “and we could run away, run away from you” i jump around_

_> “on “i got a bulletproof heart” i unroll my trans/nb flag and spin around to display it. it’s attached to my arms so when i spread them it flares out._

_> ecstatic jumping on “let’s put a hole in this town”_

_> changing “jenny” to my birthname. at this point i will be so famous people will already know it_

_> middle fingers on “ever wanna come back”_

_> the stage goes black on “gravity,” by the next line i have my arms spread out and am turned back to display my flag_

_> on “pigs” i sign “cops” in asl (the next time, i sign “family”)_

_> lots of headbanging and jumping around on “run away from here” x3 _

_> sprinting offstage at “im shooting out of this room”_

_> i do a heart on “i sure don’t like the company”_

_> spinning around with my arms out to make my cape flare out on “and i’ll do it again,” complete with middle fingers_

_> violently shaking hands near my head on “get me out of my head”_

_> i unbutton my shirt to reveal either a binder or top surgery scars on “when the motor gets hot”_

_> “the papers say niko won’t you come back home”_

_> middle fingers on “god will save you”_

_> dramatic spin on “gravity”_

_> pretend to slit my throat on “black and hopeless feeling”_

_> dramatic arm spread on “is this our destiny?”_

_thank you for reading. i hope gerard way would be proud of my interpretation._

_#bulletproof heart is a Trans Anthem_

I shrug and start listening to Mama, writing out a similar post just for kicks. This post receives 2,000 notes, respectfully, and I’m intrigued. This is a completely untapped well of notes, and I’m actually very interested in analyzing lyrics and performance, so it’s not like I’m suffering for internet popularity. 

This goes on for a couple weeks and I decide I’ve had enough. I’m going to do it. 

So at two in the morning, I dress in my most emo outfit, grab my trans pride flag and some safety pins, and I go outside.

I record my performance, the only light that of the porch lamp, exactly the way God intended, and I wait anxiously for school so I can use their wifi to post it.

A couple days and 10,000 notes later I get a weird looking message. I’m about to mark it as spam but I read closer.

grawrdw8-t: hello there, this may be difficult to believe, but it’s the real gerard way here. I saw your Tumblr post of bulletproof heart and I think you would have an incredible stage prescence. I’m officially inviting you to join our 2020 tour of our new album. xo, Gerard

I blink, read it again, and give it a shot.

I know I can’t go. But fuck, dude, I’m honoured.

mychemlmicalromance: gerard, holy shit. I would love to. however, my parents are abusive and if I even said I LISTENED to your music they would freak :( I’m only 17 so legally I have to stay with them unless I have somewhere else to go, which sucks. Again, id love to, but I simply can’t.

His response is faster than I could have expected.

grawrdw8-t: i can help you. if you want to disappear in the night, i can hide you. if you want to come out to them, i'll support you. if you want someone to beat them up, I've got two fists. 

I think that over. God, okay. Who could fucking turn that down?

mychemlmicalromance: dude holy shit could u just show up while i come out and then yell at them if necessary and then whisk me away

grawrdw8-t: great!! what time?

mychemlmicalromance: could you show up at like, 6am next saturday? id be there waiting, and i could get the first person up to wake my parents. 

grawrdw8-t: sounds good! cant wait to see you!

I laughed nervously and brushed my hair out of my eyes. Holy shit. This was actually happening. 

**we could run away from here**

Gerard was there when he said he'd be, and I greeted him with a huge hug. 

"Hey," I whispered. "Welcome to our house. Sorry for the mess."

"It's fine, man. Wanna play cards while we wait?" He pulled out a deck of Uno cards and I nodded excitedly, cracking my knuckles. 

He dealt, and I went first, and after twelve minutes I won and grinned, lightly tapping the table. "I win!"

"Congrats," he said. 

I heard a telltale stomping and was greeted with my brother, who had a shocked look on his face. I raised a finger to my lips. "Listen. Tell mom and dad it's extremely important. There's a guest here and Jenny needs to talk to them." 

He nodded, eyes wide, and l leaned back in my chair. "It's the final fucking countdown!"

"Hell yeah," he said.

My parents came downstairs, hastily dressed, looking exhausted. 

"Hi," I said. "I'm transgender. My name is Nikolas. This is Gerard Way. He's the lead singer of My Chemical Romance. I'm going to go practise with the band for a couple months."

My parents stared at us in shock and I stood, grabbing my suitcases and walking for the door. "Wait. I need to say goodbye to Leah."

I darted upstairs and woke my baby sister, collapsing on her bed and giving her a huge hug. "Sweetie, I'm going on a trip. I'm going to call you every day, okay?"

She rubbed her eyes blearily. "Where y'going?" 

"California. It's for a music thing," I said. "I love you, Leah."

With that, I darted back downstairs to find Gerard Way explaining how brave it was for me to come out to them while my parents looked shell-shocked. 

"I'm ready now," I said. 

"Okay," Gerard said. 

"Peace out," I said to my parents, nearly bolting out. 

Gerard opened the door to his tour bus, where Mikey, Ray, and Frank were sitting around. 

"This is Niko," he introduced me. 

"So you're performing with us," Frank said. He was sizing me up, but not in a bad way, simply trying to reconcile the presence of a new person on the bus. 

"I am."

"Would you like a drink? We have beer, tequila, whis-" 

"He's seventeen," Frank reminded Ray. 

"-Water. We have water. And, uh..." he checked in the fridge. "Apple juice and milk."

"Water is fine," I said, and he poured me a glass before taking a seat on the driver's seat of the tour bus. 

"Next stop, New Jersey!"

**the papers say 'jenny could you come back home?'**

Day one of rehearsals and Gerard just sat me down to give me breathing and singing tips. It wasn't quite as dramatic as I expected, but then again, I'd never had experience with this before. 

Day two we simply practiced my twirls. In my original tumblr post, there were 6 dramatic spins. Gerard recommended 7, one much longer one for me to unbutton my shirt. I agreed, and changed into a button-down shirt with a tank top under it. I'd have to get over my fears eventually, but why make myself uncomfortable now?

Day three, four, and five, I practiced my singing technique. Gerard told me to sing like nobody was watching, and left the room for a more authentic experience on my part. Then he told me to sing like I was being sized up by judges. 

"You see," he said after I'd done that, "you're so much more free when you think nobody's watching. Your voice is better and your face lights up," he said, confirming my suspicions of a two-way mirror. "You've got this."

Day six, he got me a new, better-fitting binder, and a nonbinary pride flag. We practiced the twirls again, and I sung the song on the makeshift stage. 

Day seven I got to do whatever I fucking wanted to. It was incredible. I sung the song the whole way through, out of breath, and danced around, trying to remember everything I said I'd do. 

After that, I started cardio and strength training. That's what I spent days eight through fifteen doing, and even after only a week or so of doing it, I was much better prepared to sing, as I learned on day sixteen when I performed the whole song through, receiving tremendous applause from the band. 

On day seventeen, I got to make a cryptic post about a new MCR album, which received 12,000 notes in three hours. Rumours started to swirl. I enjoyed scrolling through tumblr while on the stationary bike, reading through people's comments. 

My post was scrutinised beyond belief. People went years back in my main blog and found my deadname. They hacked into my IP address to try to find where I was. It was low-key terrifying to see what a bunch of crazed emos would do, but hopefully after the announcement it would die down. 

It did. After another week of rehearsals, on day 24, Gerard made a post about it on his twitter, stating that yes. There would be a new album. 

The MCR fandom went fucking crazy. One of the band's guards took me to Hot Topic and I'd never seen a store so chaotic before. The employees looked stressed out of their minds, and I offered to help, which they declined but thanked me for anyway. 

**the black and hopeless feeling**

Gerard came up to me with a sheet of paper. "Niko. Nikolas."

"Yeah?" I asked. 

"We're trying to decide what day we should have our concert."

"I'm not great at decisions, but I can try to help. What are the options?"

"May 21, May 30, June 6, and June 12."

"Absolutely June 6," I said without even blinking. 

"Can I ask why?"

I shifted, leaning back against the wall. "My longest stretch clean of self harm started on June 6. I still think of it as an anniversary, even if I've self harmed since then."

"May I ask how long you've been clean now?"

"156 days," I said. 

"Remember, Nikolas," he said. He took a breath and sung his next sentence. "I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar."

"I am not afraid to keep on living," I responded softly, referencing Famous Last Words. 

"Don't ever be ashamed of where you've been," he said. 

**i'm who i've got to be**

The day of the concert came and I was shaking in my reinforced custom performance-friendly combat boots. I was frankly terrified. 

I stayed in the audience for the first few songs, all off their old album, and went backstage during Mama. 

I clipped on my trans pride flag and waited for my cue. 

"This next song is off of Danger Days, and we have a very special guest with whom we will be performing. Please welcome: Niko Simon!” In the front row, I saw some of my best friends, who screamed at the top of their fucking lungs. Besides them, the applause was minimal. “In other circles known as Tumblr user MYCHEMLMICALROMANCE.” 

That got a reaction. I heard a lot more screaming that time. 

I greeted them with double middle fingers and a jump. “I’m singing Bulletproof Heart for you motherfuckers!”

The tune started and I screamed the first line into the microphone, already losing my goddamn mind. 

_Gravity don’t mean too much to me!_

_I’m who I’ve got to be!_

_These pigs—_ I signed police, a C over my chest where a badge would be. _Are after me! After you!_

_Run away_ — I began jumping around in circles. 

_Like it was yesterday,_

_If we could run away,_

_Run away from you!_

I tugged at a string on my collar which unfurled a trans flag. I spun around on _I got a bulletproof heart_ to showcase it, eliciting screams from the audience. 

_You’ve got a hollow point smile_

_We had our run away scarves_

_Got a photograph_

_Dreaming of a getaway mile_

_Let’s blow a hole in this town!_ I jumped up and down, practically shaking the stage with my entire body weight launched at it like a bullet. 

_And do our talking with a laser beam_

_Coming out of this place in a bullet’s embrace_

_Then we’ll do it again_

_How can they say_

**Leah** _, could you come back home?_

_Cause everybody knows you don’t_

_Ever wanna come back_

I raised both middle fingers high in the air and spun around to show off my trans cape. 

_Let me be the_

_One to save you_

_Gravity_

The stage went dark and when the lights turned back on I’d spread my arms wide and turned around to show off my cape again.

_Don’t mean too much to me_

_I’m who i got to be_

T _hese pigs—_ I signed family in sign language— _are after me_

_After you_

_Run away_

_like it was yesterday_

_when we could run away_

_when we could run away_

_run away from here_

_I'm shooting out of this room!_ I sprinted offstage, jumping into the crowd.

_Because I sure don’t like the company_ I did a heart symbol with one hand to indicate to the audience that they were great as I darted back onstage.

_You stop your preaching right there_

_‘Cause i really don’t care_

_And i’ll do it again_ I spun around with my cape again, complete with middle fingers. 

_So get me out of my head_ I spread my fingers and bent down on one knee, fingers clawing at the air around my head. 

_Cause it’s getting kinda cramped you know_

_Coming ready or not,_ I put the mic back on the stand and unbuttoned my shirt one button at a time, revealing the binder I was wearing, a rainbow-patterned one from GC2B, as I continued to sing.

_When the motor gets hot_

_We can do it again!_

_The papers say_ **Niko,** _won’t you come back home?_

_Cause everybody knows you don’t_

_Wanna give yourself up_

_Tell the truth and_ I raised my middle fingers in the air again, _God will save you_

_gravity_ I spun around again.

_don’t mean too much to me_

_i’m who i’ve got to be_

_these pigs are after me_

_after you_

_run away_

_like it was yesterday_

_and we could run away_

_and we could run away_

_run away from you_

_and though_

_i know_

_how much you hate this_

_are you gonna be the one to save us_

_from the black and hopeless feeling_ I pretended to slit my throat, throwing my neck back, a move which two weeks ago almost strained a muscle and made me unable to preform— thank god that didn’t happen.

_will you meet ‘em when the end comes reeling_

_hold your heart and do this darkness_

_will ever be the light to shine you out_

_or fall and leave you stranded_

_Or are you gonna be the one left standing_

_Or are you gonna be the one left standing_

_You’re gonna be the one left standing_

_You’re gonna be the one left standing_

_gravity_

_don’t mean too much to me_

_is this our destiny?_ I spread my arms wide and spun around.

_this world is after me_

_after you_

_run away_

_like it was yesterday_

_and we could run away_

_run away_

_run away_

_run away from here_

_yeah_

_away from here_

_away from here_

The song ended and the crowd went fucking wild, my friends especially, but everyone. It felt incredible. I buttoned up my shirt again and waved to the crowd before jumping down and joining my friends again.

The concert continued, featuring all their new songs as well as Black Parade, Teenagers, and, of course, Helena to finish off the set.

When the concert ended I jumped backstage and the band greeted me with huge hugs, and I started sobbing from the emotion.

Gerard wiped away his own tears and I buried my head in his shoulder.

“You did incredible. We’re all so proud of you.”

This only exacerbated my tears, and, through sobs, I said, “I’ve never once heard that from my biological parents.”

“Can we keep him?” Mikey asked. “I think we should adopt him.”

I smiled lightly, wiping away tears. “Good idea. You guys can be my dads. It’ll be like Mamma Mia.”

**i really don’t care & i’ll do it again [three years later]**

I got emancipated from my parents after the band gave me the legal right to perform their songs. I went to San Fransisco, Boston, London, Paris, Athens, St. Petersburg, Tokyo, and Sydney, a small tour, but the biggest thing I’d ever done. Many times the band came with me, and sometimes only one or two of them could go.

I took a long break between London and Paris to get top surgery. I was on T already, and I wanted to take the next step. After five months, I continued on with my tour, eliciting proud screams from the one or two people who knew me personally.

While on the road, I began writing a book. After the whole tour was over, I moved to New Zealand to be with my wonderful partner, who supported me as I went through the editing and publishing process. 

For the first time in my life, I was really, truly happy. I had everything I needed and I hoped to god this was my destiny.

And it was all because of a Tumblr post I made sitting in my first period art class. 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. My dead name isn’t really Leah
> 
> 2\. there’s a line in this tv show I like castle and basically the context is that the main character, rick, writes stories about him and his detective partner and they fuck. and at one point one of the characters says “it’s literally verbal masturbation.” well this is a verbal hug. this is a verbal daydream. and it SUCKS and I know that so u don’t have to tell me. I wrote this just to deal with feeling like shit because of vacation and being home all day
> 
> 3\. “nikolas, what is your tracklist for your concerts?” good question! probably along the lines of sing, bulletproof heart, destroya, mama, the kids from yesterday, it’s not a fashion statement it’s a fucking deathwish, this is how I disappear, vampire money, disenchanted, helena, teenagers, and black parade.
> 
> 4\. u can follow me on Tumblr @31oct19 or @transzoemurphy!
> 
> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> if u wanna know what my plot was for this it was "I make a post about how I would perform mcr songs and I even record my own interpretation in 720p at 2am and post it. gerard texts me and asks me to join him on his tour to sing with him. I tell him id LOVE to but I’m 17 and my parents are abusive. He says he can rescue me and Im like yes queen and he shows up in the night and sleeps on the couch, in the morning he and I are sitting at the table, I come out. He whisks me away in his tour bus and I rehearse with the boys for a month before I make the first cryptic “new album” post. Gerard announces it a week later after rumours swirl. The first concert is in 2 months, end of may/early june. He asks me what day it should be, I say the 6th of june, he asks why, I explain my sh, he says not to be ashamed to show my scars. We rehearse more. The concert comes and I stay in the audience for a lot of it but I leave before my cue and come running onstage to perform bulletproof heart. Everyone is so proud of me. I get thousands of followers on tumblr. I am so happy. Gerard lets me start t and get surgery. I move to new zealand when I’m not touring to live with my beautiful partner. Life is okay and I am happy."


End file.
